“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

part 3

Today i woke up around six am. Since i have no school i have nothing to do that early except watch my mother get all glamorous for work. I ate Cherrios for breakfast with almond milk and had some pineapple and cherries. For lunch i had a salad with olive oil and vinegar with avacado. Then i walked 3 miles to church (there and back equals three miles) to talk to the pastor about all my problems. That lasted about 45 minutes. I read him my blog posts dating back to June 11th. Then when i came home i was so thirsty i drank some water and had grapefruit, greenbeans, and carrots with all natural peanut butter (4 tablespoons).

Tonight i'm sleeping over my dads house. I'm so excited. For many reasons. 1. i haven't been there in awhile and i miss him. 2. he's getting a truck and giving me his old car. 3. i'm sleeping over and we're going to Six Flags theme park tomorrow before my last group therapy session. We're also going to the gym tonight. I'll lift, maybe do the elliptical machine (intervals) and swim laps. I don't know what i will eat for dinner. Probably something light.

I read Jeremy Gilitzer's blog today. He's an anorexic but mostly bulimic. I don't know how someone can mostly be bulimic? Everytime i puke i only puke a very, very small amount. Not enough to get ride of a meal. I usually do it 4 times then take some pills. Last night before bed i took some diuretics, because i was bloated. Reading Jeremy's blog makes me a little anxious but somewhat relieved. I, like Jeremy, want to get to know more gay males, that i can be friends with - not just sleep with and never see again.

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