The best part of "this" is losing weight. The worst part is the tired, helpless, and sick feeling. But what's even worse is the binging. Thinking the hard work that you've suffered so long for is coming to an end. It's black or white for any anorexic: get fat or die. I'd rather die. Now I'm overly stuffed with food wishing for a way out.
This is becoming part of my normal routine. This is the time when I usually decide it can't get any worse than this and continue to do more self harming behaviors. Tonight is a good one-night-stand night. It's pure pleasure and an escape from the pain of being me. A few moments when someone can touch my body and actually like it. They see what I can't. Perfection.
Just stopping by to say hello. Sending you light and love for your well being. I know times seem tough for you now and recovery feels like another planet that's light years away.
ReplyDeleteI stand in the light of recovery and call you to it. I believe in you, your future self, your highest self. I ask you to look for something to appreciate today. Whether it's something you're doing, someone around you who's doing something nice for you or someone or something in your past that you enjoyed. Find one thing in your life to appreciate and milk it. When we appreciate we are love. My latest post talks about the power of appreciation and loving your Self. May you read it with new eyes...
http://www.inspiring-bulimia-recovery.com/appreciation-create-shift-life/
With love and light,
Polly
Hi Polly
DeleteThanks for helping me last night. Last night was the toughest for me.
I appreciate it. It's amazing how much a strangers help can truely make such a differnnce.
Love,
Dom