“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Saturday, June 23, 2012

June 23rd

Today I woke up around 7AM and didn't eat until 12PM. Between 7 and 12 I drank two cups of black tea and a lot of water. When i did finally eat i had some leftover guacamole, avocado, a ricecake with peanut butter and sugar free jelly, a little bit of tofu chili, a spoonful of baby food, and lastly muesli.
Reading over everything for lunch i realize it seems like a lot (at least it does to me), but the portion sizes were quite small. I relaxed for the rest of the afternoon until i became anxious about the food i did eat. I had a spoonful of peanut butter, sugarfree jelly, and some muesli, and i went for a 30 minute bike ride then I ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. After I got back to my grandmother's house I went straight to the fridge to get more muesli, but decided I didn't want it. Leo (grandma's husband) took me out to dinner, because grandma went out for the night. We went to a vegan resturant in the next town over. I ordered a vegan veggie lasagna with veggies, vegan rice cheese (low calorie, low fat vegan cheese), tofu, and protein. A salad without dressing came along with my meal. I didn't feel comfortable eating the "vegan cheese," because it makes me think of regular cheese. Regular cheese makes me anxious, because it is high in saturated fat and high in calories. Although vegan rice cheese is very much different than cheese, I still had to get the nutrition facts by searching it on my iPhone and asking the waitress for reassurance. On the drive back from the cafe I started getting car sick, so I just went to sleep until Leo and I arrived back at his and grandma's house.
              I've been on my blog all night and i'm about to get off, because it's depressing that there is no comments on any of my posts (except one...just one).

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