“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Goal

My goal is to achieve the weight 118. That means I'll need great discipline throughout my workouts. When I want to stop I have to keep going, when I get dizzy from not eating I have to keep starving. After the soup today I had a half of banana because I started getting dizzy. I reached for the Honeynut Cheerios box, put my hand in the box, and pulled out the bag. As I was ready to pour them into a bowl, I took 5, placed them in my mouth and put the bag back in the box and the box in the cabinet to never be touched or eaten again.
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2 comments:

  1. Hope SpringsJune 26, 2012 at 10:34 AM

    Dominic, Sweetheart, please take a step back and consider what you are doing. I feel so much for you - all your pain and fear - but this is not the way to deal with those things. You say you were diagnosed with anorexia: does that mean that you are getting any help from anywhere? Do your parents know? They must know you look too thin, and unhappy and ill. Please take care of your body. It is not your enemy. It is your friend. Would you want any friend to be painfully and dangerously thin?

    Vegan eating can be very healthy but you need to research it and do it properly, eating plenty of pulses and nuts and seeds for protein and oil benefits. Perhaps read up about it. Please let me know that you are sharing your troubles with somebody. Can you talk to your mum? Have you looked up what a healthy weight would be for a boy of your age and height? That is what you should aim at, not 118 pounds Finally, please remember that other people love you for who you are and not for how little you weigh. You will bring heartache to those you love if you carry on starving yourself. Please, please fight hard against it. Start by deciding never to puke again. That would be a positive start. Please love yourself.

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    1. DominicJune 26, 2012 at 1:13 PM

      Hi. Thank you for taking the time to write. You're very nurturing, thank you. Yes my mother knows about everything. She knows about this blog. I work with a dietitian, group therapy, and I am getting a new counselor soon. I've been in and out of hospitals and the emergency room. My close friends and teachers know along with my church friends and the pastor. I weighed myself today and I'm 130. Before last nights binge I weighed 124. I'm anxious and I wanna go back to 124. Anyway how do I look to thin? I don't. But continue to support your daughter and everyone else who struggles..even it's just by posting on a blog. God bless you.

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