Because of yesterday (eating 200 calories) I woke up starving today. I stayed strong until 1:00 PM then binged off of a cucumber (50 calories), 2 cans of tomatoes (180 calories), pickles (0 calories), soup (120 calories), and green beans (40 calories) with olive oil (150 calories). Total: 540 calories for the day.
Then I puked 5 times until I saw the soup and beans and tomatoes and corn that was in the soup. I always have to puke to happy music for some reason.
Not only did I puke to get rid of the calories because I was overcome with anxiety but I realized I was falling for someone. How pathetic. So I cope with feeling pathetic by puking. In a sick, twisted way enduring the pain of gagging myself until throwing up makes me feel better.
And I keep going until I see blood in vomit. Then I stop and shower and brush my teeth and act like nothing happened. I ignore that fact that I feel and I love and I want someone to love me back
Then I puked 5 times until I saw the soup and beans and tomatoes and corn that was in the soup. I always have to puke to happy music for some reason.
Not only did I puke to get rid of the calories because I was overcome with anxiety but I realized I was falling for someone. How pathetic. So I cope with feeling pathetic by puking. In a sick, twisted way enduring the pain of gagging myself until throwing up makes me feel better.
And I keep going until I see blood in vomit. Then I stop and shower and brush my teeth and act like nothing happened. I ignore that fact that I feel and I love and I want someone to love me back
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