“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Monday, July 9, 2012

part 2

 Today I had a huge breakfast to wake me up; give me energy. I tried to purge -but i couldn't. I cried and completed several sets of jumping jacks. "I fail," I tell myself. My life has turned into binging, starving, and attempting to purge. I fail. I need those appetite suppressants my mother dumped...I need salt and water and ipecac syrup. But even more-so I wish I had pain killers to take the pain of being me away. I wish I had cancer or AIDS.
 Is wanting to see my ribs too much to ask for? Is 118 so bad to want?

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