I starved all day yesterday...I am so proud. I lay here weak wondering how long I'll be able to go without eating. I'm staying with my friend Tommy for a few days, an hour away from home. Tommy and I walk to store and walk around and as we walk I look at all the food thinking of when I was young and all my favorite foods. I wonder how many calories I burned walking to and from the store with the resistance of caring bags of food. I wish I could be normal...but in life you need to give up some things to have something better.
Today I consumed:
1 50 calorie cucumber
240 calorie worth of cereal
290 calorie vegan burrito
Peanut butter - 1,700 calories
Crackers - 320 calories
Ice cream (2 cups) - 300 calories
Total: 2,640
After I consumed the icecream I ran to the bathroom and puked most of it out. I purged over 8 times on my knees crying wishing I didn't eat the icecream. I smoked a cigarette and drank water. I took 3 diet pills then I burned off the majority of the calories by completing a run/walk exercise. I burned over 500 calories.
Now I need to starve tonight and tomorrow.
I want to be able to live a normal, happy life, so I will admit myself into R
rehab in January 2013
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