Another binge and purge

I binged on a ricecake with peanut butter and sugarfree jelly and 5 grapes. That a 200 calorie binge. I rushed to the bathroom as the guilt set in. I looked in the mirror and screamed at myself "you're fat - you're ugly. You're a fat, pathetic, self loathing- good-for-nothing faggot." I leaned over the toilet and began to purge (once). I hate this part of the eating disorder. I cry as I purge. I know i'm doing it wrong. My two fingers are desperately moving around trying to make myself gag. I eventually puke a small amount of what looks like the jelly. 15 calories gone. Now I feel better. Back to my blog that nobody reads.